Hey, remember we ordered the entire menu of Cafetaria de Snek? I do! I was pretty excited about this because hey, who doesn’t like dumb ideas involving binge eating? (Dietary influencers on Instagram, probably. Anyway…) It was pretty clear this was to be a historic night: biblical even, since there is no proof Jesus didn’t order deep-fried goodness for his disciples. So, I set out on documenting this night! I asked people questions, I recorded stuff, all the good stuff. Then I kept forgetting to actually write the article so it all got delayed.
Written by Wietse, Illustrations by Mats
The first order of business was to get an idea of what people were hoping for; what would be the most anticipated snacks? Which items would get swept immediately, and which items would be left untouched, unseen, unloved…? I asked all participants and initially, the kaassouflé hype was real. However, this popularity seemed to be kaassoufleeting, since though the first responses believed in kaassouperiorité (I’m not getting any red squiggles under that word, it’s a real word apparently), after that nobody cared. Do you know who was on the ball the entire time? Bitter! Bitterballen were consistent in their popularity, garnering gradual support over time. Still, towards the end, the Pulled Pork Fries managed to pull ahead. Other than these picks, most anticipations were quite marginal.
Then, the moment had arrived: after our brave adventurers had returned from their quest to retrieve the brown gold, the treasure was put on display. It was a beautiful sight, I really should have taken a picture. [Redactional note: photos below!] Oh well. Since Abel was (in part) responsible for the idea and the organisation, it was time for him to give a speech. This I did film, but I don’t feel like rewatching all that so I’m going to paraphrase: “as a kid, I always imagined how it must be to simply order everything on the menu”. Truly inspiring. Time to dig in!
And dig in, we did. So, how did the various snacks perform? The bitterballen, though popular, were also abundant, meaning no one was left bitter in that regard. The kaassouflé’s were largely scooped by those who had had their eyes on them, as others did not care greatly for them. Then there were plenty of fries with various toppings, and I honestly don’t know if the Pulled Pork Fries pulled their weight in this regard. The underdog proved to be the Burger de Snek: we had several burgers, but these burgers were of course difficult to share among many people. Whilst only Jouke and myself had expressed a preference for these burgers, Burger de Snek was gone before one could say ‘Snek’. Larger snacks, like the Berenklauw, were gone quite quickly as well, and even the small snacks quickly disappeared to a better place. Overall, there was only one noticeable loser: the kapsalon. We had several kapsalons (in different sizes), but they were apparently not special enough and a bit difficult to just take a little bit off.
Generally speaking, we actually finished our feast rather quickly. Whereas there were initial concerns regarding whether we would find enough people to assist us in this Herculean effort, Abel found quite some people last minute, and ultimately it only cost about €12,- per person. This meant that there was enough for everyone, but not nearly enough for everyone to leave bloated and still have leftovers. After we had hyped ourselves up for the cardinal sin of gluttony, it felt somewhat anticlimactic, but since everyone (except perhaps for latecomers) was satisfied, most people did agree it would be worth repeating at some point, perhaps at a different cafeteria or a with a different goal in mind.