By Steve
Hello there people, it’s your favourite Hungarian member here! After ruining your stomachs with my food, I’m back to ruin something else we all love: the devil’s lettuce!
As I’m a known idiot, I (and a few other nice people helping me) came up with five absolutely wacky goofy bonkers ways to smoke a joint. Enjoy!
Number 1: The Comically Large
The oldest one, old enough to be called a classic. I don’t know where the guy got it from (Yank, get on it already), but it was there, and it was glorious. My recommendation is to use both hands, as it can get very weak at points in the joint, and to not do it in the rain, because that makes it extremely difficult to light it. It’s best consumed with poor life choices and regret.
If someone can make it at home with regular paper, please show me, I’ll give you some reward that I definitely will not come up with on the spot.
Enjoyment: 6/6
Length: Bigger than average
Fun: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Number 2: The Double-Trouble
Have you ever wanted to get cancer twice as fast, while coughing like you already do? Then I got the solution for you: The Double-Trouble! The test run was done with a free pre-rolled that you get from Vlouw with the angeldust, and a pure one courtesy of Yannick. This combo was deceptively smooth to smoke, which is actually bad since you can super easily get too much in you and start coughing like crazy. Therefore, my recommendation is to take small puffs, and don’t be fooled by the debauchery of the technique. It goes best with the unhealthy amount of alcohol you drank to even think this is a good idea.
Joints: 2/1
🦀: In a few years
Coughing: Uncontrollably
Number 3: The Romantic
One of the best ways to bond with someone is to do stupid, but memorable shit together, and there are only a few better ones than the romantic joint! Just find a place with a good vibe (optimally under a pot of flowers like in the picture) and hit that shit together! I recommend not licking the fist of the other person, but if it feels appropriate for your relationship, go ahead royalty 👑. The best combination to consume with this method is the pure euphoria of doing it with the right person, and the laughs had with the wrong one.
Romance: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Flowers: Around 2 pots
🥺: Mhm
Number 4: The Pen
While the other three methods listed before are somewhat practical, these last two are purely for ✨aesthetics✨. I guess you could argue that you’re definitely not burning your hand if you do this, but on the other hand it’s a pen. A fucking pen. Just why? Why am I doing this? Did I lose all my brain cells from drinking the Piss™ and the Dreft™? Wha….
You’re doing yourself a huge favour if you choose to use the pen of a past board to commit this crime against the marijuana gods. It just feels so much more bougie.
Bouge: 5/7
Hotel: Trivago
Eat the rich: ASAP
Number 5: Burger King foot le the kazoooooo (colloquially known as the fun fun fun fun fun)
This one’s the most disappointing one of all, as despite what I expected, you do not make a kazoo sound when inhaling. Sad. At least it has variations: you can either do as in the picture and close the rest of the hole with a finger while holding the joint there, or you can drop it in. If you choose the latter, be less of an idiot and don’t do it with centimeters of ash at the end. It’s not a good time. Bleh.
Goes very well with the kazoo kid video (duh).
Disappointment: Absolutely
Still fun: Yes
Aesthetics: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️