1.
You get hella free drinks
As most of you will know (and knowledgemakers will now find out) you can beer if you do a shift! And dishwashing is a shift! The amount you can beer linearly depends on the amount of eaters, and this can get quite high. You share them with the cooks, but this does mean sometimes you can actually beer more than the standard 1 drink per half hour. Like the time Nino and I got a meter on cooks, good times.
2.
You are allowed to get tipsy off those drinks
As a dishwasher, you don’t have to be responsible beyond not getting water on the floor. So this is THE shift to get tipsy on Koornbeurs money! Put on some musical tunes, drink some beers, have a good time.
3.
Easiest way to get free food
Dishwashing is by far the easiest way to get that sweet sweet free mensa. It usually takes way less time than tapping or schenking. The longest it’s ever taken me is like 2 hours, and that was a busy mensa that I dishwashed on my own.
4.
Most profit least effort
This combined means that dishwashing has the best profit vs effort margin of all shifts. It used to be more work, but it isn’t anymore! Because:
5.
We have a dishwasher now!
You don’t even have to wash the plates! All you have to do is scrape some food off them, then wash like 2 pans and badabing badaboom you are done! We love our dishwasher it is my best friend. We should name it at some point. (What if the person who does the most dishwashing shifts gets to name the dishwasher??? I will bring this up at the next db verga)
6.
Bond with your friends for life
There is nothing to forge a bond for life like scraping rice from the bottom of a pan. From experience, it is a sublime time for gossip or traumadumping depending on the day. Something about warm water and the opportunity to avoid eye-contact by looking at the pan you’re cleaning just unleashes something in a person.
7.
Board will happy cry
Every time there isn’t a person to do the dishes, a board member loses their wings. Having to do the dishes the next day as db just doesn’t hit the same. You know how much of being board is cleaning? I don’t want to do more cleaning :(. If you do the dishes I will personally kiss you on the lips.
8.
Did I say I have 10 reasons?
9.
Because I do not have any more reasons
10.
I previously stated I don’t have any more reasons