{"id":1610,"date":"2022-12-09T10:06:14","date_gmt":"2022-12-09T09:06:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/forum.koornbeurs.nl\/?p=1610"},"modified":"2022-12-09T10:28:57","modified_gmt":"2022-12-09T09:28:57","slug":"student-quotes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/forum.koornbeurs.nl\/index.php\/2022\/12\/09\/student-quotes\/","title":{"rendered":"Quotes by Janne’s Pupils"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By Janne<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hello everyone,<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My name is Janne and I\u2019m an English teacher at the Stedelijk Gymnasium in Leiden (a secondary school). Here are some lovely quotes from pupils that I have collected this school year. Most of these have been translated from Dutch to English. Enjoy!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Chapter about science and technology<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

*I\u2019m explaining what dial-up internet means*<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil: \u201cUgh\u2026 I hate calling people on the phone\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me: \u201cWhat do you think will happen in one hundred years\u2019 time?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil A: \u201cI\u2019ll be dead, miss\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil B: \u201cand so will you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They have a speaking exercise about pictures on the smartboard, one of the pictures is of paper straws.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil A to pupil B: \u201cI hate paper straws. Why don\u2019t they just invent plastic ones?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil: \u201cHow old are you, miss?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me: \u201cI\u2019m thirty\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil: \u201cWow, and you\u2019re still in secondary school?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

General<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil A: \u201cMiss, I DEMAND to know my grade\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me: \u201cThat\u2019s rather aggressive. The test was yesterday, so no, I don\u2019t have your grades\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil A: \u201cAh, it was worth a try. In history we were taught about Stalin, and he always got his way by making demands.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil (after being in school for three years): \u201cSince when is \u2018I\u2019 capitalised????!?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Year 1 pupil to a classmate: \u201cEnglish is a cool subject, don\u2019t you think? I mean, you can use English when you run out of Dutch words\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil A: \u201cMiss, are you a REAL English teacher?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me: \u201cNo, I\u2019m imaginary\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil B: \u201cNo he means, are you actually a teacher?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil: \u201cMiss, when did you know you wanted to be a teacher?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me: \u201cA few years ago\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil: \u201cSo when you were younger?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sex Ed<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil: \u201cMiss, how do you come out to your parents?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me: \u201cWell, first of all, you don\u2019t have to come out of you don\u2019t want to. (explains multiple creative ideas to come out)\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil: \u201cAlright, thanks. I think I\u2019ll stay in the closet for now and then jump-scare them when I\u2019m older\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil A: \u201cWhat is this?? (points to picture of a condom)\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil B: \u201cThat\u2019s a condom, stupid!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil A: \u201cHow should I know what a condom looks like?? I thought they were round and not square!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil: \u201cMiss, have you ever had sex with a dude?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me: \u201cYes, I have.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil: \u201cDid you like the person you had sex with?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me: \u201cYes, otherwise I wouldn\u2019t do it\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil: \u201cHmm, I always thought men and women hated each other when they have sex\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Chapter about food and restaurants<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me: \u201cWho can tell me some typical Dutch foods?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil: \u201cApples!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil A: \u201cWhat are \u2018bitterballen\u2019 and \u2018pepernoten\u2019 in English?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil B: (yells in class) \u201cSuck deez BITTER BALLS! Suck deez PEPPER NUTS!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil A: \u201cI hate the taste of coffee\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil B: \u201cWhy? You love Starbucks, though\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil A: \u201cStarbucks isn\u2019t coffee, it\u2019s capitalism\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Chapter about holidays activities<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me: \u201cSo, \u2018huren\u2019 and \u2018hire\u2019 are not synonymous. \u2018Hiring\u2019 a bike is incorrect, you would say \u2018to rent a bike\u2019. Hiring a bike means that you\u2019re conducting a job interview with a bike.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil: \u201cHello mr bike, can you roll? Can you steer? You\u2019ve got the job!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me: \u201cSo the word holiday comes from the phrase \u2018holy day\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil A: \u201cDoes that mean that the summer holidays are holy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil B: \u201cI still have to go to church, so I think so\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pupil A: \u201cThe correct spelling is W-H-E-N-S-D-A-Y\u201d Pupil B: \u201cNo it\u2019s not, it\u2019s Wodan\u2019sday!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Janne Hello everyone, My name is Janne and I\u2019m an English teacher at the Stedelijk Gymnasium in Leiden (a secondary school). Here are some lovely quotes from pupils that I have collected this school …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1611,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1610","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorised"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/forum.koornbeurs.nl\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1610","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/forum.koornbeurs.nl\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/forum.koornbeurs.nl\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forum.koornbeurs.nl\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forum.koornbeurs.nl\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1610"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/forum.koornbeurs.nl\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1610\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1613,"href":"https:\/\/forum.koornbeurs.nl\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1610\/revisions\/1613"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forum.koornbeurs.nl\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1611"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/forum.koornbeurs.nl\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1610"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forum.koornbeurs.nl\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1610"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forum.koornbeurs.nl\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1610"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}