Hello people!
You all know that Steve wrote some amazing articles about nightmare-inducing drinks and the best ways to smoke a joint, and that I am an overachiever that decided she wanted to write two Redâkkie articles before the MBB. Additionally, we’re both stoners. What better to combine that than to write another article about smoking weed?
So, I begged Steve to write an article together (not really begging, I asked and he said yes without any further ado) about tobacco replacements. Then we didn’t do anything for a few weeks until Patrik decided to take the lead. He invited us to his place, where we sat down with Raphael joining us and some very nice herbal blends that we did not use to make tea but to roll joints with.
We came up with a few aspects to rate the tobacco substitutes on to keep it as fair as possible: rollability, (after)taste, smell, and how much it fucks with your throat (also called smoothness).
The joints were rolled with the same weed, paper, and by the same person. The only difference is the tobacco replacement.
Here are the results!
Sage
- Rollability: 7.5/10. It had a few sharp little twigs that tried poking through the paper, but they were easy to remove and the sage didn’t need a pre-grind and was easy to shape.
- (After)taste: The absolute best taste, if you like sage! It is more noticeable than the neutral damiana, but not in a bad way.
- Smell: 6.5/10. Pretty neutral, with a few hints of sage.
- Throat-fuckery: 8.5/10. Very smooth.
Chamomile
- Rollability: 5.5/10. The tea we used needed a little pre-grind and kept falling out of the top while trying to roll the joint, but it did not contain any sharp little twigs.
- (After)taste: Pretty neutral.
- Smell: 9/10. Nice and herby.
- Throat-fuckery: 7/10. Not the smoothest of joints, but we unanimously found this one to smoke the most like a joint with tobacco.
Lavender
- Rollability: 5.5/10. Very comparable to the chamomile. It needed a little pre-grind, stayed pretty loose and wanted to escape the joint through the top, but it did not poke through the paper.
- (After)taste: [Emma did not write the taste down but the Redâkkie thinks it’s pretty good]
- Smell: 10/10. Best smell out of all joints.
- Throat-fuckery: 6/10.
Damiana
- Rollability: 8/10. Very comparable to rolling a joint with weed only.
- (After)taste: We completely forgot to think about the aftertaste, so it is nothing noticeable!
- Smell: 5/10. It does not smell as nice as the herby joints, but way better than tobacco. It mostly smells like weed.
- Throat-fuckery: 9.5/10. Very smooth.
Paucho Herbal Blend
- Rollability: -2/10. It’s horrible. It feels like plastic and it doesn’t want to get in shape.
- (After)taste: Worst of them all.
- Smell: 3.5/10. It’s supposed to be a herbal blend but it does not smell nice.
- Throat-fuckery: 4/10. Has an annoying afterburn.
Summary
Or in a different style:
Rollability: Damiana > Sage > Chamomile & Lavender > Paucho.
Taste: Sage > Damiana > Chamomile > Lavender > Paucho.
Smell: Lavender > Chamomile > Sage > Damiana > Paucho.
Smoothness: Damiana > Sage > Chamomile > Lavender > Paucho.
It is safe to say that we did not like the Paucho herbal blend. Why people would buy it or use it remains a question. It feels like plastic, tastes like plastic, and smokes like plastic.
The other four options were all pretty nice. You should try them out if you want to stop smoking tobacco.