Have you ever found yourself in the situation where you’re doing something and find yourself wondering “is what I’m doing actually just a weird version of the once-viral-but-now-only-ironic dance move the whip”? I know I have. Quite often actually. Well if you have, you don’t have to worry anymore! In this article I will shine a new light on this weird, but intriguing situation.
Oh and also, Fye is proofreading this and adding their own thoughts to it, because the clickbait is funnier this way. Deal with it. (Thank for that szteve)
The whip
So what even is the whip? Some of you whip-conservatives (sounds kinky) would think that it’s just the specific dance move, followed by the classic nae nae. If you think that you’re objectively wrong and stupid and fight me bitch.
A whip should be classified by any rotation of the forearm, around the longitudinal axis, from the fingers towards the thumb of the whipper(-snapper), with the fingers at least partly curled. So if you think about it, most swimming styles are close to a whip, but can’t be classified as one unfortunately.
List of the best unconventional whips, as ranked by the all-knowing Steve
Now that we’re clear on definition, we can get to the list. This ranking is the only valid one that can exist, unless I change my mind. Try to get me to do that at the Koornbeurs sometime.
The “driver”
The driver is a true classic, one of the first ones you’ll think of when you try to discover unconventional styles. No matter what, you can’t go wrong with it (unless you’re doing it drunk, but then you’re cringe and I don’t like you). But because it’s one of the most ordinary ones on the list, I cannot rank it high in my list.
A subclass of this would be the biker, but I don’t like it because my hands cold 🙁 (Wear gloves) (I do but my hand still cold 🙁 )
Fye’s thoughts: I agree with steve that it cannot rank to high because it’s a classic, however the real question is is there a difference between the ranking depending on what you’re driving?
The “check your watch”
Very basic, but somewhat hidden, and that puts it above the driver for me. Probably the easiest one to spot in the wild. I dare you to walk up to a stranger you see whipping, and congratulate them on their fabolous dance moves.
Fye’s thoughts: it also depends on how you check your watch, i used to know some people whose watch checks were more crimes than whips
The “pour”
You may find yourself in front of the bar of the Koornbeurs, watching the amazing people that tap do countless whips. Let me assure you, this is okay. Do not be alarmed, but at the same time, don’t get your eyes too lost in this magical ritual, as then you might forget to order and drink a lot, which sabotages our great association.(Reminder drink water you need it, not because of alcohol but cause you’re dehydrated.)
Fye’s thoughts: what is there to say about the pour, it’s iconic you should learn to do it. This is just bottles and not for tap.
The “Henskie”
Ever wonder why the building of the Koornbeurs is so perfect, and nothing breaks ever? This is thanks to the mysterious people of the Henskie. This one ranks quite high, as there are multiple, equally valid whips classified under it, making it always fresh with new equipment. My favourite is probably either the screwdriver or the wrench, just because of their frequency.
(Also calling out to you, future CG of board 113! See you at Bibo! Please save me from becoming Haans. I don’t want to. Help. I see the light fading from my own eyes :(, I’m writing this a week later. Now I am become Haans, maker of dad-jokes.)
Fye’s thoughts: I wouldn’t call this one whip, but a group of whips. So doesn’t count.
Honorable mentions
After writing the whole article in like two hours or so, I was faced with new interesting whips. This is the place for those.
- The Sommelier: if you whirl your wine just the right way, you’re doing many whips in quick succession. Due to this, I like it a lot.
- The Locking your Door: this is in important one, that is if you don’t want your stuff burglarized. Don’t be clumsy like me, and forget the key in the lock though (if you are ever at Balpol 34, and you see a key sticking out of the door, can you please put it in the mailbox and send me a message? 🥺)
- The Disconnecting the Speaker: ever been bothered in your conversation by one of the speakers in the Koornbeurs? While – in your rage – disconnecting it, you might’ve done a whip. Silly you!
The “tap”
Fye’s thoughts: love tap, want to do it more.
Even more whips behind the bar? I say Hell yeah! A clear favourite of mine, made even better if you’re wearing some tap-drip to go along with your coolness. Yes I’m talking about myself, I’m everyone’s favourite tapper without a question, and thus I am the chosen one to do this variant the best.
🅱️aans