Hello and an early merry Christmas everyone. As I write this, the lovely Christmas dinner personnel is preparing the Christmas dinner, which I’m pretty excited about! Back in the old days, the chair of the association would write a Christmas message to inspire and thank the members. Seeing as our board is busy enough as is, and I’ve been meaning to write something like this for a while anyway, I’m hijacking this tradition. And there’s nothing you can do about that, hehe.
Anyways, Christmas. A joyful time at the end of the year spent with those you care about, whether that be your family, your friends, your cat, or (hopefully tonight) the rest of the Koornbeurs. While I like the idea of this end-of-year tradition, usually I feel pretty shit. I do not like Christmas, at all. A shocker, I know. To explain, allow me to tell you about my upcoming Christmas.
“Okay Scrooge, why not? ” you might say. Well, I don’t know about your family’s Christmas traditions, but mine mostly involve spending uncomfortable amounts of time with each other. When it’s just my parents and my siblings (there is a hidden third Mokkenstorm), I can just about handle it. I’ll take the free red wine, hastily bought presents, and attention from my parents’ cats, thank you very much. Where it gets too much for me, is the second Christmas day (who thought we needed two of them anyway??).
On this day, my dad’s side of the family all comes together for brunch. I don’t think anyone really enjoys it, but at least Grandma is pleased. Each and every year the same happens. We all get together at one place and enjoy some bites, some of which are even vegan these days, which is a great sign of progress for this conservative family! After we’ve suitably stuffed our bellies, the conversations start. And that, dear members, is where this tradition truly fucks me over.
Let’s first rewind a little bit, however. Nearly two years ago, I anonymously wrote an article (sorry, Dutch-only and definitely a content warning) for the Redâkkie outlining my general well-being. For those who haven’t read it yet, let’s just say it wasn’t very optimistic. Due to this state of mind, the past two to three years haven’t been very kind to me. I’m just about a quarter through my fourth year studying Civil and it’s going horribly. I’m currently stuck and have been stuck for about two years, at 60ish ECs, of which I got 44 in my first year. You can do the math on my rate of progress. Anyway, that was the backstory.
So when these conversations start, I get the usual clichés from the aunts, uncles, or cousins. And for the past couple of years, and probably next Tuesday as well, these conversations go like this:
‘So how’s Delft?’
Eh, it’s nice.
‘Still got the cat?’
I do! She’s sweet.
“How’s your studying going?’
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I’m getting there.
You can hopefully imagine getting confronted with your lack of success twenty times in an afternoon is not so fun.
So why are you telling us all of this?
Excellent question. I’m sure at least some of you can (partially or not) relate to these feelings. And I would like to give the sweet members of the Koornbeurs (including myself) a different view. In the past year I might have been an utter failure by my parents’ standards, but:
- I have an amazing girlfriend,
- I finally got proper diagnoses and treatment for my problems,
- Marx (the aforementioned cat) is still very sweet,
- I’m gonna move to a better house soon,
- I saw some great bands perform,
And most importantly:
- I fucking survived.
So next time you feel like a failure, whether caused by cliché family questions or not, keep in mind the things you did manage to accomplish. At the very least you’ve accomplished the last point above for every year of your life thus far. You’ve survived, you’re here, and hopefully, you’ll be eating that tasty Christmas dinner at the Koornbeurs with some of the best people on this planet.
Be proud, be strong, be yourself, and of course a merry Christmas,
Mats.